Francine Caitlyn Chye
a.k.a. Hurricaine Fran
a.k.a. Fran the PCD
a.k.a. the happy bunny :D
<3
040889 (August baby!)
Crescent, ACJC, hocker
xoxo
If it's meant to be, it'll be(:
"And sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together"
don't think, just run
Saturday, January 14, 2006
today was an.. extremely tiring and confusing and packed but i guess.. hmm. well, it was alright yeah (:
i've come to the conclusion that i really can't stand shallow people. the kind who will look a girl up and down and make snide comments. i dunno. i've decided that i really can't stand that. and i won't. so there.
i wanted to play around a bit, just to give back what it seems that you've been giving to others.. then withdrawing from. i dunno. maybe it's my own sub conscious self consciousness.. or maybe it's just that it's a challenge for me to make you squirm. i won't lie and say it's for her because i'm as disappointed in her as the next person-this is one of the reasons for my reluctance of coming to a mixed school, but ohwells, it's the here and now we live for, not the then.
listening to brian mcknight makes me really sad. it's hard not having someone to hold you when you just need a certain indescribable security to tell you that yes, though changes are daunting, some things will remain the same through thick and thin, through loniness and hurt. do you ever think about me? do you ever cry yourself to sleep? but you've let me go and i know i have to let go too. i thought i was okay but some nights are still so difficult. do you ever reminise? i can't believe i'm acting like this. i still wanna call you up but that was an obvious mistake that went straight through my heart and when it hit the bone.. ouch. i can't imagine wanting to be back to where we were, yet i miss you so much. nothing went wrong for us yet i know we'd be all wrong now. or would we? what if this is just another futile attempt to make myself smile? why do we still make sense when nothing else seems to anymore?
i went back to crescent today. gosh. i miss you soph baby, SO MUCH! it was so nice to have the greatest hug (((: sighs. we recalled everything from sec1 days to sec4, to classrooms to mass runs to teachers.. but it felt so different. it's like.. coming back home and finding it had changed. disappointment? no, not really. i guess it's the transition stage that i was dreading so much. i still feel like i'm part of the crescentian family, yet i feel so isolated. it's like it went through an entire 360, arriving at the same point but enrichened with experiences and people i havent had or don't know. it was so strange. it was sad that only me and soph and xq and nae made it back today.. but i guess this is just testament to the fact that jc changes everything. it aches, huh.. knowing that we were once so close but i know deep down we still are. time constraints.. etc. we all know-that's one commonly acknowledged fact eh. hopefully i'll see you girls soon though. i miss C2 and the nonuts too much. (:
anyways. today is gonna be one of the last ANDALITE days! but hopefully not. my goodness. i couldn't have wished for a better OG. i'm just gonna leave it up to.. well, we'll take it one day at a time. i don't wanna go into classes :( GROWLS. nvm. BRING IT ON. just not so soon :(
guess that's all for now.
loves lots.-
ex-oh, ex-oh
12:01 AM